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The opening sequence has changed, now that we're finally in the Sailor Stars season proper. Who are these people? Another intro spoiler? Gah.

Three mysterious, previously unseen guys walk through a dim-lit (to add to the mystery) hallway and ramble about finding some mysterious "her". These are obviously the same as the trio from the opening, but we'll pretend we don't know this.

Turns out they are important and notable. Wikipedia-notable, even. They're a music group called Three Lights, and they produce some really upbeat music - which, interestingly, isn't just another variation of Sailor Star Song!

The girls are at the Standard Designated Meeting Place™ discussing the group. Even Ami, the geek, has a thing for them. Except Usagi, who's still stuck with her submissive "Mamo-chan". Wait, not stuck. Bound. With the Red String of Fate™.

Well, at least Her Pinkiness Chibiusa is gone. And they removed her from the show in an especially anticlimactic manner, offscreen, and nobody really mourns her. That's good.

A flashback... then a romantic moment with a photo of them together... Nothing that wasn't already done. Luna reminds Usagi (and us) what a ditz and crybaby she was back in the very first episode. Well, she still is ditz and a crybaby now, but only as Sailor Moon, not Usagi, oddly enough.

A plane is leaving. What, Mamoru left offscreen too? No, that's not his plane. Of course, they can't send him away without a long, cheesy romantic scene. And all Usagi got was a lousy engagement ring...

Meanwhile, the Three Lights push away fans (who are all heart-eyed, literally) — with cool sunglasses like that, they're definitely on Serious Business. Which consists, apparently, of walking past a loving couple in a creepy manner.

We get, at last, to the new villain: the premise of a grinning Ms. Evil on a throne is once again recycled... IN SPACE!

Furthermore, she sounds suspiciously like the Disembodied Voice from the first episode of this season. She sends yellow lights of doom to Earth, and, laser-guided, they enter Mamoru's plane and blast it... or so it seems.

Of course, the Three Lights immediately do the plot-prescribed "my significance sense is tingling" routine.

The girls (at the Standard Designated Meeting Place, henceforth known as the SDMP) try to explain to Usagi what her ring means. Since they like to be cryptic, they don't advance far.

They go to the park to see the Three Lights. Ami tries to deny being a fan. She definitely reminds me of someone in this respect...

And as usual, these gender-confused girls continue to refer to themselves as "guys".

Usagi tries using people as a ladder.

In the boughs of the tree above them (since this is the standard place where new characters appear for the first time), a strange shadow appears. Zoom in to reveal a woman in Souichi Tomoe Standard Issue Scary Shiny Glasses.

Usagi, desperate to see the Three Lights from a close distance, tries to sneak through a restricted access passage. On the way, she bumps into one of the Three Lights — Seiya, to be specific. And she's such a big fan that she doesn't even recognize him, and for some reason gets offended by the name he calls her...

She sneaks in anyway, and sees the woman in the hat and Scary Shiny Glasses removing both, revealing a rather goofy outfit, and doing "my kung fu is stronger than yours" moves.

She attacks the co-star "Alice-chan", as Usagi calls her, and the latter, seeing two yellow Lights of Doom flying towards her, just stands there and doesn't even make an attempt to run.

Some kind of flower opens on her forehead, expelling some kind of crystal floating in the air.

Meanwhile, Usagi transforms — and this time, the full sequence, with as much fanservice as you can get, occurs. By the time the mouse-girl removes the Star Seed, Sailor Moon uses her time to climb one of the trucks for no reason at all, besides impersonating Obi-Wan "I have the high ground" Kenobi.

The mouse girl identifies herself as Sailor Iron Mouse. Sailor? Hmm. Well, the name suits her — the mouse part, rather than the iron part. She's not made of iron, and teleports away shamelessly as the Victim of the Day transforms into the Monster of the Day.

(The Doctor will call in several episodes. He does want his TARDIS back.)

As it often happens, the monster of the day is more weird than fearsome.

This makes some comments. The enemies know, as we learn further, that only Sailor Senshi possess "true" Star Seeds that they need, and this is what distinguishes them from regular humans, who possess "blank" Star Seeds. Yet, despite seeing a Sailor Senshi right in front of her, Iron Mouse doesn't remove her Star Seed. Furthermore, neither do any of her successors later in the season, preferring to attack random targets instead. This just seems stupid to me: we're in the first episode, not counting the Nehellenia arc, and already the premise is falling apart...

Sailor Moon refuses to fight the human-turned-monster, and... someone else appears with a rather anticlimactic (but cool) theme music. Three someones, identifying themselves as Sailor Starlights. They literally appear out of thin air,

They're obviously the Three Lights, just more scantily-clad and more... female. Although the latter woudn't be immediately obvious if not for the bras. But the Clark Kent effect intervenes, and Usagi/Sailor Moon doesn't recognize Seiya/Sailor Star Fighter, and neither does he... she... do they recognise her.

With the monster of the day also being a Sailor, it makes five new Sailors introduced in a single episode. Not bad. I wonder if John Ostrander knew about this Sailor-fest when he started that Star Wars comic series where everyone and their father is a Darth...

Star... Serious... Laser! Okay, try to say that with a straight face. And then try to look at what ensues with a straight face.

They prepare to finish her, but Sailor Moon gets in the way. She may pass for an alien now, with these big eyes, big mouth, and wings. But no, she was born on Earth... in this incarnation, anyway. While the Starlights are aliens. Human aliens, who are ubiquitous in live action series like Star Trek due to budget constraints, but don't really belong in animated series, where one can draw real aliens.

Yellow light emanates from the crescent on her forehead, which is not the Yellow Light of Doom we saw earlier because it comes in rays, not balls. Still, it's scary.

Her new rod appears out of nowhere, and starts spinning without her intervention, or even without her touching it — it just follows the hand...

(Notice how unrealistic the body proportions are. She could stretch an arm upwards, and still the legs alone would be longer than the rest.)

Okay, "Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss" is even more difficult to say with a straight face than "Star Serious Laser".

While she performs this extremely long attack, the Starlights, realizing their work is done here, go away.

"Hmm. Perhaps they really can disappear..."

Or not.